**Note – this will be a 3 part series on TV Shows, and this section is also on current TV shows (that I don’t enjoy).
**This review does contain spoilers.
Hello friends, it’s me again. Today’s installment is about TV shows currently on TV that I do not enjoy watching, or have disappointed me.
Now, I will try to make this as American as I can. I know a lot of people who read this may be American, and a lot of the stuff I watch is American. I just want you all to know that where I live (Melbourne, Australia), half-decent shows are few and far between. Normally, the good shows are comedies. It’s a big problem. All the stations ever put on are either silly news shows, god-awful teen singing programmes that showcase the “hidden talents” of children from all across the country, or the most uninteresting reality show of all time. So I’ll put – Australian – next to the title if it’s an Australian show.
So without further ado, let’s get into some of the worst shows on TV.
PART 2: BAD TV SHOWS
HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER (CBS)
MY RATING: 2/10
This show, for some reason, is popular beyond belief. I can’t quite put my finger on it. This bunch of people apparently run their lives like it’s just one big game. A game of what? I’m not quite sure, but it certainly doesn’t take much skill to win.
This show just bores the hell out of me. There is nothing interesting about a Dad who takes 8 SEASONS TO TELL HIS KIDS HOW HE AND HIS WIFE MET! Jeez man, just finish the story! These kids need to eat! They can’t listen to you ramble on for 160-odd episodes without a break. Yeah, I know, that’s cynical of me, but it’s basically the premise of the show; a guy explaining how he and his wife met to his children.
The situations are boring. The characters are so stupid it’s hard to believe they are surviving. The only one who is even the slightest bit successful in my eyes is Ted, who is the only character I care for. He is getting the closest out of all of them to making me feel something for them. The others, I just don’t care for.
Barney. God damn it Barney, on a bank person’s salary, with the amount of booze you drink and money you spend, it’s a wonder you survive. Your jokes are annoying, your personality is frustrating to watch, and even though you think you’re a mega-cool, chilled out guy who is hilarious, you’re just a massive tool. Get over yourself, man!
This show just makes me so annoyed. Why, oh why, is this show so popular?
THE BIG BANG THEORY (CBS)
MY RATING: 3/10
This show has little credibility with me. Jim Parsons is the only half decent guy on that show. The rest of ’em, much like “How I Met Your Mother”, are just boring people. It would help if the actors were any good, as well. It’s just so meaningless!
Sheldon is an okay character, I’ll admit. I don’t mind him. He is actually well acted, and a teency-weency bit likeable. As for the others, not so much. Leonard: stupid. So cliche nerdy, and I hate his voice. It’s an obvious attempt at geekiness, but in all honesty, it is just plain annoying.
Penny. I don’t even understand what she’s doing there. Why? Apparently you’re “hot” (obviously a geek’s definition of the word), yet you choose to have a fling with really unattractive losers? Enlighten me. Raj is awkwardly in the middle of all this, which makes this show harder to enjoy when he decides to pop in for a quick and meaningless visit to the screen.
Howard annoys me the most. The acting itself isn’t bad, but the stupid, nonsensical attempt at comedy from this hateable child of a man is just silly. He isn’t funny, and his haircut is just awful. That’s a minimalistic error, but it is on his head, which a lot of people tend to look at when he’s on screen.
Sucky show. Next.
MY RATING: 2/10
I had high hopes for this baby. Ever since the first advertisement for this show, I’ve been all over it. I thought to myself “I’ve been waiting for a new J.J Abrams project. This surely won’t disappoint.” And gee, this disappointed.
UNINTERESTING. UNFULFILLING. SLOW. Just three words I can use to describe this show. The plot was so promising at the start. But somehow, “Revolution” has become nothing more than a show trying to be more than it is. What’s this about? Hope? Survival? Determination? Sadness? I’m pretty sure that’s what they were pitching, and shades of these characteristics come across in the show. But far too often am I left in awe of how mediocre this show is.
Billy Burke plays Miles, a post-Blackout bartender who has ninja-style skills in combat and can take on 10 men with nothing but a sword. Before the Blackout, he worked for the CIA or some organization like that, with his brother, Ben. All this time, they knew more than ANYONE ELSE about the Blackout. But once it hit, these two couldn’t use their knowledge to maybe secure their safety, or make a deal. No. Instead, Ben lives in a small village and Miles is a pathetic bar-keep. Idiocy. Also, Miles: what is the point of having all these skills if you haven’t used them for 15 years? What, all of a sudden you just remembered you had them and you pull off all sorts of attacks on the Militia? WHAT?!
Charlie, Ben’s unfortunate daughter who has lost it all, is weak and scared without a weapon in hand, but all of a sudden becomes a fierce fighter when her Uncle hands her something to fight with. Tracy Spiridakos sucks with this character, anyway. Graham Rogers plays Danny, Charlie’s brother, who suffers from frequent asthma attacks. So frequent that sometimes, Charlie would stay up ALL NIGHT to make sure Danny wasn’t dead. So he gets captured by the Militia, and he’s all sad. Okay, fine. But for gods sake, how has he not had an asthma attack yet?! He’s been captured for like a week. HOW IS HE STILL ALIVE?
This show is farcical. Giancarlo Esposito is a great actor, and the only light in this dark mess of stupidity and bad writing. Zak Orth is alright. I don’t mind him, actually. Nate sucks. He makes no sense to me. How did the group let him in? Didn’t even bother to check his wrist?
Pure idiocy. Enough, I say.
X-FACTOR (CHANNEL 7)
– Australia –
IMDB: 4.5/10 (94 votes, mind you)
MY RATING: 0.5/10
God I hate this show so much.
Reality garbage. It’s just a less interesting twist on shows like “American Idol”. The contestants are so talentless, as well. Yeah, sure, they’re having a go. Well done. Good on you. But you must know that I’m a cynical person, and therefore I have a go at people who are just trying to impress.
The judges (Ronan Keating – a dwarfy moron, Guy Sebastian – a once talented singer who took to AutoTuning his every lyric, Mel B – a former Spice Girl who took to judging in-over-their-head teens, and Natalie Bassingthwaighte – an Australian music reject who has an incredibly long last name) are just so stupid. Basically, the act is a pre-pubescent kid singing a boring song badly. Then, 2 judges give “constructive criticism” to the performer, and the other 2 judges praise that person’s talents to the point where it’s like the next Madonna is standing in front of them. Times that by 12, and that’s a show.
The worst part of all this is that millions watch it. How a person subjects themselves to watch this joke of a programme for an hour of their lives is worthy of a reward in my book. The reward should be a JB-HiFi gift voucher, so you can buy yourselves a Pink Floyd CD and listen to some real music. I’m sick of hearing little girls talk about this trash. Abysmal show. This one goes in the “most hated of all time” pile.
New episodes of THE SIMPSONS (FOX)
MY RATING: N/A
Okay, so I didn’t choose to write a rating for this show, purely because I think, besides the last 3-4 seasons, this is the single best animated show of all time, and in my Top 5 best shows of all time (which I will discuss in the next ELROY TALKS).
These new episodes, though, have completely lost the originality that made this show amazing. They’ve run out of ideas, and I can understand that. It’s been a very long time. These may be the saddest words one may ever say, but it think it’s time to say them: It’s time for The Simpsons to finish.
I don’t want to watch the show I have loved for all my life to destroy its reputation, or tarnish it. The latest episodes of this show make me sad. It isn’t what it once was. It’s still slightly funny, but the stories are silly and come from nowhere. It’s enough, FOX. Its gonna happen sooner or later. Better it happens now than before its too late.
I’m sorry, Simpson family.
New episodes of LAW & ORDER (NBC)
SVU – 8/10, CI – 7/10
SVU – 4/10, CI – 3.5/10
Like The Simpsons, it’s definitely time to put this one to bed. But unlike The Simpsons, the programmer has agreed. It’s sad to see one of the great crime series’ on TV finish, but it’s time.
Criminal Intent have some okay stories. But the show lacks the killer instinct. It lacks a sense of “who dunnit” in my opinion. I’m never really questioning who it was that did the crime. What’s the point? It’s either the really obvious choice, or some person they find out about at the last minute. Same as SVU, only in SVU, I don’t mind the actors. The actors in CI do their job well, but thats it. They don’t add another dimension for me. Not saying that’s a problem, if done well. Like in the original episodes of Law & Order. Jerry Orbach was a policeman who wanted justice, and was good at finding it. That’s all. And I couldn’t get my eyes away from those episodes. I had a stage when it was all I watched.
I’ve given SVU a slightly better rating because I love Mariska Hargitay. She makes that show. The crimes are always disgusting tales of sex, drugs, money, and child’s being hurt. I hate that. That doesn’t work every week, for me. You can’t make that a continuous thing. Stop, already.
Special mentions: Any Australian reality show, The Vampire Diaries, The Cleveland Show, The Mentalist, Pretty Little Liars, 666 Park Avenue, House.
The next review will be up A.S.A.P, when I talk about the best shows of all time. Exciting, is it not?
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