WARNING: Spoilers. There are plot giveaways in this review. (But nothing big so stop having a cry and read the damn review!)
OFFICIAL SILVER SCREENER REVIEW
– TOTAL RECALL –
IMDB Rating: 6.3/10 (97,646 votes)
Director: Len Wiseman
In a largely unenthralling remake of a Schwarzenegger classic, Total Recall is nothing more than a CGI-fest.
It’s a future world, where a nuclear war has ravaged Earth, leaving only two habitable areas; the United Federation of Britain, and the Colony (Australia). I’m not quite sure how the UK – a much higher target on the global scale compared to Australia, one would think – is the country who is better off and a much more civilized place than it’s cross-world neighbour. The countries’ only point of connection is “The Fall” – a gravity elevator going directly through the center of the Earth, which would almost certainly throw the weather and Earth’s magnetic field into ABSOLUTE CHAOS.
Right from the start, the character of Douglas Quaid is uninspiring. Colin Farrell’s performance is about as thrilling as it could have been, and still didn’t do it for me. Part of Arnie’s charm was his charisma and authenticity on screen. Farrell just kind of blends in, like a grain of sand on a beach.
Kate Beckinsale is unfairly forced to do it all in this one. And she gives a damn good account of herself, actually. I liked her control on screen and she wasn’t bad in the huge chase scene with Farrell, which introduces Melina. Played by Jessica Biel, Melina is a follower of the uncharacteristically weak Bill Nighy and is kind of weak herself.
Then there’s Bokeem Woodbine, whose necessity in this film I’m still questioning. He’s in 2 scenes basically…I mean, what’s the point? What a waste of valuable cash they could have spent on making another set or object – and would’ve made the CGI count go from 58525849 to 58525848.
From the moment he went to Rekall, I knew where it was headed. All the clues were so BLATANTLY OBVIOUS I couldn’t believe my ears. “A spy…for both sides…”. That is enough. But there was more. You see the actual drug go into his arm. If you didn’t pick it up by then, you’re blinder than a bat.
I was just so damn disappointed, because although there were way too many, the CGIs looked absolutely stunning in this film. And it’s a shame, because the acting for the most part was pretty weak. Even Bryan Cranston wasn’t that good, and that’s a rarity nowadays.
The whole concept of this movie was a bit out there and it didn’t really work. The script was a bit stinky with short-of-the-mark dialogue. The direction was okay but really, most of the shots were purely to show off some beautiful visual effects.
I just wish this movie went more in depth as to what reality means and how it can be twisted.
The unbelievable overuse of CGIs in Total Recall makes this a bland, uninteresting film. Without all things computer-generated, this would’ve basically been Colin Farrell running in circles in the middle of an undecorated room, with Kate Beckinsale at his heels.
MY RATING: 4.5 out of 10.
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